In my last post "your worth it" I talked a lot about telling your story to those you are dating. In this post I would like to talk a little more about the Who, What, When, Where and How's of your story. Your story is a very important part of your life and a huge part of your family as well. No matter who you are your story is sacred to you and therefore you need to consider many different things before you decide to go out and tell your story to everyone. When you consider these things it allows you to keep your story important to you and to those you tell.
Who: This part is difficult. Although your story is very special to you and should be shared doesn't mean you should go out and just tell everyone. Not everyone is accepting to the fact of adoption and don't understand the love it requires to be able to do such a selfless act. Before you tell your story to someone you have to think about what this person means to you, how they might react, how will your story help them understand and are you comfortable telling your story right now? Being comfortable in telling your story is a huge part. When your comfortable you show more passion and more conviction in your story. When you have these things your story is more easily told and allows the listener to feel your feelings. If you're not comfortable telling your story than don't. When your not comfortable telling someone your story your more prone to jump around in your story, your feelings don't show through and they can sense your anxiety making them feel that maybe you worry about whether or not you made the correct choice or that they will judge you for your decisions.
What: Once you have decided to tell set person about your story and feel comfortable doing so, you need to decide exactly how much of your story your going to tell. In some cases this information can be a lot to take in and you don't want to overwhelm them with every last detail. Now if there very accepting of your story and want to discuss more about it than feel free with what your comfortable telling. I feel keeping to the basics of your story, your gratitude for adoption and the blessings it's brought to you is the best for telling someone your story for the first time. People can sometimes get caught up to much into the details which can really take away from the point of the story. So it's best to keep to the important parts of your story. If later on they still have more questions than you can discuss those further with that person later on when it is comfortable to you.
When: I jumped a little ahead in discussing when to tell your story in the Who section of this post. I think the when factor is brought into all of the 5 concerns as there are a lot of factors to it such as who your telling it to, is the location appropriate, is the timing right, am i ready to tell them my story and have I really thought over how I am going to tell this person about my story?
Where: When your going to tell your story you really need to evaluate your surroundings and is the environment appropriate to discuss your story. All sacred things whether sacred to you or to those around you have a place and a time. Your obviously not going to want to tell someone your story while around a huge group of people at a party, or at a game, or preferably not over the phone. You want to be somewhere you can really get your story across where there is no interruptions. When your some place that you don't need to worry about interruptions and where they can really listen to your story you take away from the distractions and allows the other person to feel what you feel and the sense of love that is shared there. When they're allowed to feel what you feel and the love that you have for your story than they can know how sacred it is to you and can understand your situation a little more.
How: With conviction and with bravery. How does anyone get there story across so that those around them can feel what they feel and know what they know? They do it with conviction, passion, love and not being scared. You made a choice when you placed for adoption and even though you had a million reasons to parent and a million reasons to place there was only one reason for why you made the choice that you did. It was for that little child growing inside you. That little child you had yet to meet that had already touched your heart and that you loved with all your heart. You decided to give that child a chance, a life and a family. The love that is required to make that choice is beyond comparison and love cannot be beat. So don't be scared and don't be intimidated. Your story has love, passion and bravery so tell it with all the love, passion and bravery that you have.
I hope this helps to think about the many situations that should be brought up when getting ready to share your story with others. The biggest thing I can say is to ensure that you are comfortable. I can't say it enough as feeling comfortable telling your story has ten times more of an affect on the person than if you don't feel comfortable. You have something close to you something kept in your heart and will always be there, keep it close to you and keep it sacred by thinking over these 5 steps to telling your story. I know that if you do it will help keep it sacred to you and it will have a lot more positive affect on the person listening as well.
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