A Miracle In The Making

Where would we be with out Birth Mothers? Before I got to know my wife and the decisions she had made, I really never gave it much thought about adoption and what it means to me, my wife and those who are unable to have children. Now that I know more about adoption I can't stop thinking about the blessings that adoption brings to the lives of so many people. I hate to hear the people that have nothing but negative things to say about adoption and how inconsiderate those people are about the feelings of those birth mothers, birth fathers, adoptive couples and those who have been adopted themselves. Those harsh comments and feelings is what has lead me to write this post.

          I like to think deeper into things, that there is a much more meaningful reasons as to why things happen. That perhaps bad things happen to challenge the lives and the hearts of others in hope that they will turn it around and make a good thing come of it. The adoption process hits both sides of that in so many different ways that to me it truly becomes more of a miracle.

          How does adoption start? I don't mean the hole process after the child has been conceived and the birth mother has decided to place. I'm talking way before that. There are two sides to this love story. It starts with a couple who has come together through love and decided they wanted to start a family and grow there love through family. It continues after countless days, weeks, months and years of trying to start a family or losing a child. Through all the tears, trials, hopes, dreams and the faith of one day being able to start a family, for some that hope may dwindle, there faith may fall and the tears may never stop. That is where the second side of this love story starts again.

          A man and a woman make a choice to do something that some may not be proud of or approve of and then theirs those with different beliefs and become pregnant. Now what? My mom put it out for me in a very simple way. Not a very simple decision but you only have a couple choices. Do I get married, Do we keep the child and hope it works, or do I place the child for adoption and give this child a sure fighting chance with a family whose love is so strong that you know that child will be with a family with a love that no one could even know of? I'm not here to say which is the better choice and which is the bad choice. Everyone has a different story, different relationship with the birth father, different financial situations and so on and so forth. To some it may bring an unmarried couple together making them a stronger couple and bringing the realization of marriage and that maybe it is time for them to be married and start there family together. Then for some it may not be the best decision. That maybe that child deserves a family that can give that child the love, the family, the home and the life that maybe a birth mother and/or birth father couldn't give it.

          A man I know very well and respect and love very much recently told me that "Some things just happen for a reason, a reason unknown and that we cant comprehend". I have heard things like that all the time and never really thought of it to deeply till recently when we were dealing with a very close, personal and sad situation. Why do things happen, why must we have these trials, why must we lose loved ones and why must we have to make the choice? We can't begin to comprehend the emotions that fill a person when they find out they cannot have children or have lost a child. We can't comprehend the emotions that fill a person who has to chose to place there child for adoption. What we can know is that between the two there is a child, a heart, a mind and a love that is so precious that we can only know that things "DO" happen for a reason. Where would those hopeful parents be if it wasn't for those birth mothers?

          You can disagree, you can continue to disapprove with the choices made and you can continue to think that all things happen because of the choices we make. But those choices we make can't be taken back but what we can do with those choices is turn it around in order to affect the lives of others in a positive, loving, hopeful way. Birth Mothers give back hope, they give back love, they take away the tears, the sadness, the fear and they give a miracle. A miracle created beyond our own understanding in order to create FAMILIES.