Mothers Day, Birthdays And All Those Other Days

          One of the many things that occurs when dating a birth mother or even after getting married is dealing with holidays that bring up the memories and decisions that were made earlier on in life. These memories obviously  bring up many emotions and can sometimes make it hard to figure out how to handle the situation since we don't know entirely what they are going through or feeling. Being married to a Birth Mother has allowed me to figure out ways of dealing with these feelings. Hopefully through my experiences this will be able to help those husbands that are married to Birth Mothers or even wives that are married to a Birth Father.

          Celebration: During Mothers Day, Birth Mothers Day and even Birthdays our Birth Mothers or Birth Fathers think a lot about the child they placed for adoption and the affects it has had in there lives. During this time a lot of emotion can be brought up such as sadness, happiness or even both. I have found that one way to turn these emotions up and positive is by celebrating. Mothers Day, Birth Mothers Day and Birthdays I like to remember that even though they did place there child for adoption they still are a mother. So you still need to remember your wife or girlfriend during these days and celebrate the holiday. Take them out to dinner go do something fun and get them a card even. These little things can help take there mind off the sadness and help them remember why they did what they did and even celebrate such a loving decision that was made. If it's for a Birthday still go out and do something fun and celebrate the day that the person you love and care about so much brought someone so special to this world and to a family who loves that child as well. If the adoption is open and the family is ok with you coming over to see the child than go together. Nothing better than having some emotional support with you. But always make sure you ask first if it is ok with the family.

          Mourning: Sometimes celebrating these holidays may be very helpful but still emotions can come up and we still need to be very understanding and supportive. Everybody is different and everyone handles things differently. Trying to figure out how your loved one wants you to handle such situations can be hard and the best thing is to simply ask what you can do for them. Some might want you to just hold them and sit with them while they let it pass, some might want to sit by themselves for a while and some might want to talk about it. Whatever the request is you need to listen to what they want and do it. Just make sure you are there for them if needed. In the mean time make sure to do something nice for them. Simple kind acts can brighten someones day no matter how big or small. They simply show you care about that person and about making sure they know they are loved. They made a huge decision that was made with love and they need to know that they are loved and that no matter what, someone is there for them.

          I know that by doing these things for your loved one they will know they are loved and cared for and nothing will brighten there spirit more than this. More importantly we need to remember what our loved one is going through and that we show our love "for" them, let them know that we are there "for" them and will do anything "for" them.